a fair and balanced birdthing (raaven) wrote,
a fair and balanced birdthing

Tucson Driving Rules

(From my friend Leanne, who's still there.)

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Tu-son, not Tuc-sun.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Tucson has its own
version of traffic rules.... Hold on and pray. There is no such thing
as a dangerous high-speed chase in Tucson. They all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down Ina Rd" .... Which has no
beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "Scenic Drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 7:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour
is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one of the
starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to
avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.

7. La Cholla Road can only be pronounced by a native.

8. Construction on I-10, River Rd, and near the University of Arizona
is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment and employment
for many.

9. Beware of the driver that suddenly decides to make a left turn out
of the outside lane.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect.

11. Don't coddle the overly polite driver that waits for you to make
a left turn while he waits to proceed straight ahead on a green light.

12. The minimum acceptable speed on I-10 is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy.

13. The wrought iron on windows in South Tucson is not ornamental.

14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." They mean it.

15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60-mph zone
people are not waving when they go by.

16. Sunrise, Skyline, Craycroft and Ina are our daily version of NASCAR.

17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
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