1. You buy salsa by the gallon.
2. Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
3. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
4. All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear
out come the end of April.
5. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
6. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
7. You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
8. You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't
remember the name of the incumbent.
9. You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
10. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
11. You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're clearing your
12. You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
13. You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt
14. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
15. You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
16. Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
17. You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over l00
18. Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
19. People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.
20. You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your
car. Refer to # 5
21. The pool can be warmer than you are.
22. You can make tea instantly.
23. You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use
24. Most homes have more firearms than people.
25. Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
26. People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are
automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
27. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
28. The AC is on your list of best friends.
29. Monday Night Football starts at 5:00 instead of 8:00.
30. You know that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
31. You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
32. The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot
33. You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro," "Ocotillo," "
Tempe,", "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim,"
"Cholla," and "Ajo."
34. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is
walking on the streets.
35. You experience third-degree burns if you touch any metal part of your
36. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're
37. Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of
38. When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in
terms of minutes, not miles.
39. Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
40. If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a
41. You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight saving
Some additions to you know you live in AZ when...
42. The yearly burning of the side of "A" mountain is a bigger event than
the Fourth of
July fireworks that triggered it.
43. You can take your breakfast eggs outside to fry them.
44. The term "But it's a dry heat" is on your list of snappy comebacks for
those out-of-staters... not that they ever stick around for it.
45. What's grass?
46. Your eyes are fine - it's the asphalt that's putting off that nice
47. It takes you 10 minutes to get an all-over tan, 12 for a nice pink
tint, and 15? Third-degree sunburn.
48. Golf is played with portable umbrellas and personal misters.
49. Instead of bringing you mice and rabbits, your cats leave you Gila
monsters and rattlesnakes on your front doorstep
(Actually, I found geckos to be the far more common offering)