a fair and balanced birdthing (raaven) wrote,
a fair and balanced birdthing

Words Women Use

Normally I would just chuck this out as stupid. It occurs to me, however, that I actually know women who live by this code.

Okay, so now it's still stupid, but I can get a giggle out of it, too.

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel
they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a
woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes
that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so
it's an even trade.

This means "something," and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting
to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't
care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she
will stay content.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in ! conjunction with a
"Raised Eyebrow."

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
what ever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth,
so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint!! Just say you're

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked! off at you. It signifies that
you have offended her in some callous w ay, and will be followed by the
"Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as
she will only tell you "Nothing"
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